Why A Psychodynamic Perspective?

At an early age, I became emphatically convinced pain and family was synonymous. Living with the trauma from physical and sexual abuse, the loss of a child, abandonment issues, domestic violence, and horrible decision making, I walked around most of my life waiting for the world to pay me for my pain and suffering. 

Many of the hang-ups I encountered daily, lead a painful trail back to events that had entrapped me when I was younger. Gradually these wounds rooted themselves into my emotions, mindset, habits, and decision making. Leading me to a complicated relationship with anxiety and depression.

A psychodynamic perspective brings emphasis on the cognitive influence that underline the human behavior, feelings, and emotions and how they might relate to experiences from the past. This was the lens I was viewing my opportunities, self-worth, and  ability to experience real love.

For many years I lived in denial that my past had anything to do with the way I engaged with people or shielded myself from love. It took me getting tired of being tired, to embrace the possibility there was more to my life than what I was offering. To believe that life could be different If I did the hard work to make it so. That is when the door to healing was able to crack its way open and my baby steps began... 

I stopped living in the falsity that my life would be better when I finally got "the apology". I stopped believing life would be worth living when I hit a certain salary. I stopped courting anger and expecting everyone to understand. I stopped making excuses for my bad judgment. I stopped being jealous of people who seemed happy. I sat in my mess and did the tough work to clean it up.  

It was an educational journey; one that lead me to a  more intimate relationship with my Creator. But also to discover freedom in being me. My flawed, quirky, sometimes loud, and beautiful self. 

Through this deep dive into myself I have learned some very important tools. As a life coach, my clients also use these tips as a foundation to build on.

1. Everyone needs a safe place to fall. Someone who lovingly accepts your ugly cry and 3 day old under arm sweat. THAT, my dear is your safe place. 

2. A victim-mentality must change to a victor mindset. At some point we are all held accountable for which we understand and it is up to us to correct it.

3. Healing includes proper placement of accountability. Own your stuff and yours alone.

4. It is okay to not be okay. But it is not okay to remain that way. I don't care how cute the shoes, that person has "stuff" too. Comparison and envy must be replaced with self-determination to be a better you. 

I am a big believer in paying things forward, which is partly why I have chosen to open my life up in very vulnerable ways. Sharing various pitfalls and growing pains I endured while stuck in resentment, bitterness, and self-righteous anger.  Only through this intimacy, have I been able to discover It is truly possible to heal from the unforgivable.  

Thank you so much for stopping by. For more soul healing steps click here. To pick up my book, The Prescription is in the Dirt, as seen in NBC, FOX, CBS, and USA Today, please click here. There are plenty of ways you can stay in contact with me. Do you keep an active social media account? If so, please consider joining my community on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn.  

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